Rack & Rune

Welcome to Abbott’s Inn Nordic Rune Corner 11!  We’re certainly glad you could make it!  Do be sure and check out the other Abbott’s Inn Nordic Rune Corner groups on the Internet.  The Rune system we will be discussing is the Elder Futhark Runes.  So you see, the Runes really are Nordic.  There are several other Rune systems, such as the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc and the Frisian Runes, but the Elder Futhark is the one that is best known, and the one that the most books are written about.  The earliest Runic inscriptions date from about 150 CE.

 It is thought that as the Germanic wave of the Indo-Europeans moved west and north, they became acquainted with the ancient alphabets such as Etruscan, and that the  Runes are a derivative of those alphabets.  The Younger Futhark developed into the long branch Runes, called Danish (even though they were also used by the Norwegians and Swedes) , short branched or Rok Runes and stavesyle Halsinge staveless, further into Marcomannic Runes, the Medieval Runes (1100-1500 CE) and the Dalecarlian Runes (1500-1800 CE).  There are similarities between the Runes and Ogham.  There is also a Runic script in Turkey, although we are not familiar with it.  Stephen Says it’s because there were Norse mrecenariesin Turkey as well as other places, but Tegwedd isn’t so sure. 

Books on the Runes are myriad.  There is Freya Aswynn’s Northern Mysteries & Magick (formerly Leaves of Yggdrasil), The Little Giant Encyclopedia of Runes by Sirona Knight, and Nordic Runes by Paul Rhys Mountfort, to name but a few.  Authors such as Edred Thorsson  have written many books on the Runes.  Tegwedd owns a copy by Thorsson titled the Elder Futhark, but that’s only the first of many.  We think it’s cool the way that Barrett put the Runes on the Trumps the way he did.  Try to find info on Clive Barrett on the Internet, will you?  All we could find is that he is the author of two Tarot decks; the Norse Tarot and the Ancient Eqyptian Tarot (of which Tegwedd has 2 copies;  she gave one to Doc, which she inherited with his demise). 

The Turkish script, as engraved on the Orhon standing stone in Mongolia, certainly resembles Runes superficially, although that may only be the straight lines that per force must be present in order to carve them in stone. The modern system of Runic divination is based, according to the Wikipedia, upon Hermeticism, classical Occultism, and the I Ching. Could someone please explain to us please what Runic divination has to do with the I Ching?  The only thing they have in common is that they are both examples of sortilege, the drawing of lots (if one does the yarrow   stalks version of the I Ching)systems of divination.  The cultures are completely different from each other.  Wikipedia is not the last word, but since Tegwedd keeps getting Bing junk every time she tried to look something up in the Paganpedia, it’ll have to do for now.  She’s tried to remove Bing at least 3 times with Len’s help, but Bing keeps popping up.  She did have the satisfaction to telling Microsoft that “Bing sucks out loud.” when she removed it, and Microsoft asked why.  Bing is the worst search engine in the world.  Do contribute your thoughts On Runes. 

The Elder Futhark is divided into three sections called aetts, which, coincidentally, have eight runes each.  The first aett is Freta’s aett.  The second is Hagal’s aett, and the third is Tyr’’s aett.  In the Norse tradition, like the Chinese, eight is one of their most important and auspicious numbers. 

How did the Runes originate?  The current is that as the Germanic and Gothic  waves of the Indo-European emigrants moved west and north around 1000-600 BCE, they passed through northern Italy and became acquainted and entranced with the Etruscan alphabet, and they sought to recreate it in their writing, as they became a literate people.  Okay, other scholars will tell you that they became acquainted with other Italic alphabets as well, but we believe that it was the Etruscan which was the main contributor.   For more information on the history of the Runes, go to either Wikipedia or Paganpedia.  Google the history and origins of the Runes.  According to the Havamal, Odin sacrificed Himself to Himself on Yggdrasil, and stabbed Himself in the side with His spear.  The drops of blood from both His empty eye socket and the wound in His side solidified into the Runes as they fell at the foot of Yggdrasil.  But such scholars and authors as Donald Tyson aver that the blood was really menstrual blood, and and the Runes were originally a women’s mystery.  So it was the women who copied down the Etruscan script, and developed the Runes from that.  Tegwedd maintains that yes, Odin gave the Runes  to men, but the women had them first, and Stephen agrees with her. 

Clive Barrett created the Norse Tarot and the Ancient Egyptian Tarot.  He put a Rune on each Trump card.  Stephen and Tegwedd each own a copy of this deck.  She took it off the shelf to study for this posting.  She plans on using it this coming week for the Tarot card portion of the daily Omens in the Gloamin’.

Do reply with any comments or questions you may have about this post or Runes in general. 

HereI Am Again On my Own

The title comes from a Poison song. I've been listening to a lot of heavy metal lately. I discovered that the perfect thing to block out Stephen's incessant political programming is Norwegian black metal. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything here, so I’ll try to bring you all up to date. I was offline for awhile, because of a dispute with AT&T. You know what AT&T stands for, don’t you? It stands for A**holes Through & Through. For that little nugget of wisdom, we have to thank my friend Mary Sole. Anyway, my friend, Len McQueed, sent me a brand new router so that I could get back on the Internet by splitting Stephen’s Clear account. Sometime in December, we got me on the Internet. There was a problem, but with the help of a very helpful tech support person Mec, (I hope I got her name right) we figured out how to hook up the Seshat 5 (my desktop computer) to the router and the router to the modem. Stephen’s laptop gets wifi in his room from the router.

We have been working on the book we’re writing and have gotten to Chapter 5, which deals with the first few cards of the Major Arcana, or Trumps. I have also been sending “packages” to various occult and Pagan book publishers in the hopes that one will accept our book proposal.

My health has been improving after a rather serious setback in December. I went to the Yule ritual on December 18th, came home, and watched the season finale. Then I started to get sick. It’s amazing just how much the stomach will hold. Ever the alarmist, Stephen called 911, but when I went to go to the gurney, I fainted on the porch, and didn’t think he was such an alarmist then. To make sure I didn’t pass out again, I was helped to the gurney. When I got there, from my blood tests they took, the doctor determined that I had a disease called pancreatitis and admitted me to the hospital. When I got on the Internet, I discovered that I could have died from it. It was kind of weird though because it usually happens only to heavy drinkers, and I am just barely this side of a teetotaler. For the first day, I had nothing but a few ice chips. They gave me morphine by IV. Did I ever tell you how much I hate opiates? They are not my DOC (Drug Of Choice. I’ll take it while I have to, to take away the pain, because I hate pain too. I didn’t even have exciting dreams behind it. When they took away the morphine, and I could take Norco, I felt so much better. Opiates make me stupid, irritable, and constipated. That was Monday. Tuesday, December 20th, I had clear liquids and lots of Jello. I love Jello. When I got home on Wednesday the 21st, I went into a cooking frenzy and made my own Jello for the three of us. Wednesday they decided I could have solids, but everything was white except the apple juice. White bread and white rice. I found the broth more interesting. At least it had flavor, which white bread and white rice don’t have. The reason I prefer whole wheat and multi-grain breads to white bread is not that it’s good for me. No, the reason I like them is I like the flavor. Later that same week, I made Saturnalia dinner for David and me, ham, whipped sweet potatoes with marshmallows, and vegetable casserole. I had made chocolate crinkle cookies for dessert. It was very good. Stephen was off with Lizet. I spent the weekend on the computer.

Early in the morning on the 25th, I made an offering to Saturn by the fig tree in the backyard. I gave Him what I had, which was corn meal and rum. I petitioned Him to have me win the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I plan to make this a tradition every year on December 25th. When I win the Sweepstakes, I’ll be able to afford better sacrifices. Then I watched the Hellraiser series of movies and my Netflix. I had a very good weekend. I chatted online with various people. Then Wednesday I had a very pleasant surprise. Andy, Barb, Nadia, and Maddie stopped by, gave me presents, and took me out for dinner. I had veggies and noodles, since they were the most fat free thing we could think of. I made sure to have mushrooms.

New Year’s Eve we watched movies, had ham left over from the past weekend, and toasted with Martinelli’s. I made corn chowder out of the ham bone, and Andy suggested an alternative to lima beans that I don’t know why I didn’t think of. Potatoes. Less work and time than lima beans, easier to find, and easier to digest. From now on that’s what I’ll use.

Llewellyn turned us down, so we’re sending our book proposal package to other publishers. I found thirty, and I’m sending the package to all of them shotgun style. Fortunately most, if not all of them have special email addresses I can send packages to. Doing it in email form electronically means I just either copy and paste the material into the body of the cover emails, or I attach the material, or both.

Now that I’m online, I can get organized. To do that, I’ll use the five year plan that I stole from the Communists. When I was young, during the height of the Cold War, either the Soviets or the Red Chinese were always launching glorious Five Year Plans. I interpreted these to mean they would focus their energy and resources for five years towards a certain goal. Well, I didn’t think I could plan ahead five years. Things were always happening to me to throw a monkey wrench into those plans, but maybe I could plan ahead five months, or fifteen months, or five weeks, or fifteen days, or five days, that’s a work week, or one day, fifteen hours, or five hours. So my fifteen hour plan for tomorrow is to get up, make tea, do the Rune, Ogham few, and Tarot card of the day, do my emails, eat lunch, start Chapter 5, send a package, and work on my book, taking time out for supper, and either work on my book or do emails. In there, I have to feed the cats, vacuum the living room and hall, and put the dishes away.

On the romance score, I’m undecided. There are a lot of guys I’m chatting with online, but I can’t help comparing them with Doc, and what gets me is that they’re all in such a rush to get serious. It seems to me that they regard having a woman in their lives is a bit like acquiring a new car, or a boat, or a new computer. I don’t want to be just another man-toy. Sure Doc had his work, his lodge, and his Renaissance, but he also had Paganism, and I was a big part of all of that. There’s a guy in the Army in Afghanistan who wants to come home to a wife. He’s even willing to “convert” to Paganism for me, but I don’t buy it. I told him that nobody ever converts to Paganism, that we realize we always were Pagan, and simply come home to it, but I don’t think he heard me. Well, if he doesn’t respect me enough to listen to me, and take it to heart, that’s the end of the relationship. It’s bad enough that Stephen has no respect for me, and doesn’t listen to what I tell him. I am not going to have a Significant Other who doesn’t respect me.

Today is the day Christians devote to love and romance. Tomorrow is the day that Pagans devote to romance, the Roman holiday of Lupercalia, names after Luperca, the she-wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus, the twins who founded Rome. Wolves, as we know, mate for life. If I could afford it, I would mark the day by making a donation to Robert Redford’s foundation for the protection of wolves.

"What a Drag It Is Getting Old!"

Welcome to Geriatrics for Pagans 2! We’re glad you could make it! Do check out the other Geriatrics for Pagans groups on other networks. Tegwedd plans on starting the groups on every network we’re on except WiccanTogether because they’ve been snooting on our groups, and not approving any. They don’t inform us either of why they haven’t approved them. So we’ll snoot on them right back.

Mick Jagger sang in “Mother’s Little Helper”, “What a drag it is getting old.” It sure is. Mick didn’t know the half of it when he sang those words more than 40 years ago. Stephen is really pissed off about WiccanTogether taking this attitude when we helped build the network up to where it is today, and they snoot on our groups! Tegwedd thinks that they’ve gotten too big for their britches, and that they’re going to have trouble finding hats that fit them. So many networks have gone completely fascist and killed their groups. MySpace killed their groups. MSN killed their groups, and Yahoo’s group categorization process is so draconian that we decided not to create any more groups there. BlessedbeUK and Avalon are also very fascist. They went fascist first. In order to ask for money to pay your bills, you first have to be rich enough to pay for their stupid network. When you’re worrying about keeping the power on, you don’t have the money to pay their bribes. Britain’s version of the GOP must run those networks. But this post isn’t about that. This post is about the funny aspects of getting older. It beats the alternative, right? It’s high summer, but at times Tegwedd’s right hand freezes into a position and aches. Stephen (whom Tegwedd calls Frog) and the putties have something in common; when it gets hot, they all sleep a lot. The putties resemble fur rugs, and Frog resembles a very loose corpse, except that his chest rises and falls. Stephen finds that as he gets older, he gets more humorously sadistic. When he and Tegwedd do libations, he makes her “bark” 3 times before she gets it. Then we say in chorus, “To us and prosperity, to prosperity and us.” He comes up with more creative ideas to get rid of his arch enemies the fascist GOP, aka the Gas-Oil Party. He can accept being older, but refuses to think of himself as old. As time goes on Tegwedd has noticed that he is getting more and more rigid, and less tolerant of others’ points of view, especially in areas of beliefs and politics. He is just as leftist, but less able to let others have differing perspectives without being labeled as fascist. He still feels youthful, and it’s one of the things that keeps him going. Tegwedd thinks it’s our senses of humor and her faith and hope that keep her going. Now you tell us how you’ve changed over time.

Stephen keeps coming up with little games to “entertain us.” One is the “book game”. We tell each other how many pages are in the books we’re currently reading. We show each other where the bookmark is, then the other person tells us what page we’re on. He guessed the very page Tegwedd was on and she was flabbergasted. Tegwedd usually just makes a random guess, since she’s going to be wrong anyway. Why not? It doesn’t matter anyway. It has 2 purposes, to keep us intellectually alert, and keeps us reading books. Tegwedd thinks it’s a stupid frustrating game. Stephen plans on creating more stupid games like this.

We have noticed a definite prejudice against Pagans who have reached an advanced age (age 60s and above) in the Pagan community. Have you noticed this? We’ve worked tirelessly for the Pagan community, and have a lot of knowledge, experience, and wisdom to contribute. Why are there no takers? Isaac Bonewits and Robert Larson both died with very little support from the Pagan community. Which other Pagans can you name who are in our age bracket, and are getting very little if any respect and support? We want to know why you feel that older Pagans don’t get the respect and support we deserve. Stephen has some ideas. He feels that many younger Pagans have no respect for our traditions any longer. These traditions have evolved through much trial and error through several decades. Our generation has seen many improvements in the environment that the Republicans want to do away with. They claim the these regulations are what sank the economy when in reality what did it was all the rich corporations giving away our jobs to foreigners overseas so that Americans cans pay their mortgages and the deregulation of the nation’s banks so that they lost working families’ life savings. The banks got bailouts, which promptly went into the pockets of the top one per cent of the executives. Where’s our bailout? Giving $700 billion to the American people would have resulted in a much needed shot in the arm to our economy because we would have spent it on things we actually needed; to pay our bills, groceries, our kids’ educations, etc.

Back to the environment: This is something we Pagans should be concerned with, and many of us participated in protest demonstrations to push this legislation through. Remember the Love Canal? Chances are, some of the people who demonstrated about the Love Canal and the environmental violations were Pagans. Those who demonstrated against the construction of the nuclear power plants definitely had Pagans in their numbers. And from the meltdowns of the plants in northern Japan following the earthquake and tsunami earlier this year, we know how dangerous those plants can be. Then there are the legal strides made to safeguard our rights to worship as we will. Our generation brought about those advancements. Pagans also were involved in getting religious rights for inmates. Stephen was involved in the demonstrations at Folsom, Soledad, and San Quentin. Tegwedd corresponded with inmates for years, and imparted information about Druidry,and the different books about Druidry that she recommends. Stephen and Isaac participated in a demonstration in San Francisco having people “honk if you like dolphins” when the Japanese were killing dolphins. Charlie Daniels, the bluegrass fiddler, joined the protest, and not only gave them tickets to his concert that evening, but also backstage passes. He did the extended version of the “Devil Goes Down to Georgia.” It was a great concert, and one of Stephen’s fondest memories of the time he spent with Isaac.

We are offering a new service. For just $19.95, you can have spell-coaching. We will take you through the construction and performance of a spell. It’s very simple. If you want to perform a spell but you don’t think you know what you’re doing, hire us to coach you through it. The fee is payable to our PayPal accounts, to either abbotts_inn@yahoo.com or tezra.reitan@gmail.com .
We will coach you using strong ethics. Tegwedd has a couplet she will teach you which you can add to your spell that will ensure that it is ethical. Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick is over 40 years old, having been founded in 1970 in Berkeley, CA. It went cybernetic almost 9 years ago. Lizet has been helping us put the school on a more commercial footing, and with her inspiration, Tegwedd has started packaging the classes into manageable packets. Ms. Freeman did a 3rd website for us almost a month ago at http://abbottsinn.wordpress.com. From there, by clicking on two of the graphics, you can go to either of the other two sites: http://abbottsinninternational.com/ and http://abbottsinn.com/ . You can also get to our network http://abbottsinn.ning.com/ . With her help, we also salvaged some things from his old website, including the mission statement: The Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick aims to provide a gentle nurturing environment that promotes education in both the atmosphere and the specific tools of magick. Our research arm is called the Magickal Research Institute or MRI, not to be confused with the medical MRI, or Magnetic Resonance Image, which Tegwedd had on her right ankle about 9 months ago. Stephen and Lizet came up with the name almost 9 years ago. The three of us have become a very effective working team.

The Romance of Pirates

Welcome to Pirates for Pagans 7! We’re so glad you could make it! Do check out the other Pirates for Pagans groups on the other networks. Sorry to have been away for so long but we had computer issues for a few months, and Stephen is awaiting the return of his laptop with bated breath. Tegwedd’s computer issues are over with, as she has a new computer. Tegwedd won’t let Stephen use her computer, since he has a negative psychic field around him that kills computers. He’s killed at least 5 computers, and she has no intention of allowing him to kill her new one.

This is one of Stephen’s favorite groups that we’ve created. Yes, we know that the group just has Tegwedd’s name on it, but we share the group. He loves the pirate attire, both 17th century and 18th century. Tegwedd has a decided preference for the 17th century attire, especially the hats. Stephen also likes the spirit of democracy the pirates fostered. Unlike on the naval ships where the word of the captain was law (this was true whether the warship was British, Spanish, French or Dutch), the pirate captain was elected to the post, and had to keep his men happy if he wanted to keep his job. Tegwedd likes the romance of the pirates. She likes the way they talked. She’s looking forward to September 19th, which is global “Talk like a Pirate Day”. Mark yer calendars, me hearties, cos that’s the day fer it. Aye, maties, arrrrrgh, shiver me timbers.

Stephen just adores pirate computer games, and has several. He can’t wait to get his computer back so he can play them again. He even has one he hasn’t even played yet, Piratesville, which is the other game on his Mysteryville game. He recommends Sid Meier’s Pirates Live the Life, which is the 3rd and best of Sid Meier’s Pirates games. The other 2 are Pirates of the Burning Sea and Pirates’ Gold. He likes the graphics, music, and plot. He has a couple other pirate games; Pirate Cove and Pirates of the Caribbean. But of his pirate games, Live the Life has the most options. Right now we feel we should spell out that his games are games about pirates, that they are NOT pirated games. He got them the legit way, walked into the store, and paid money for them. In that game your character can rise in society by getting letters of marque, getting land, and marrying the governor’s daughter. Your pirate character can become a pirate hunter, and go after other pirates and other criminals. Combat is more realistic. Stephen doesn’t know whether a 4th installment is coming out.

When Tegwedd was a mere countess, and occupying the throne in the absence of the Queen, she would invite the pirates into the pavilion so that she could visit with them.

Teresa are a couple myths about pirates. One is that they made people walk the plank. There’s no evidence that pirates ever made their captives walk the plank. There is also no evidence that they buried their treasure anymore. What treasure they did get was distributed right away, and spent just as quickly. We’d like to hear what your research has shown. What other pirate myths are there and what is the truth underneath? Let’s talk about the opportunities for a pirate. He had some choices. He could be a rogue, unattached to any ship or flag. Or be a pirate hunter, as was mentioned above. He can progress within his own nation, get a letter of marque and go after your country’s enemies. Act like a pirate policeman and bring in other kinds of criminals, as a pirate, you can get into places other law enforcement officers couldn’t get into. Many of these criminals wouldn’t surrender without a fight, and you could always bring them back dead. Many times the hunter would bring back only the head as proof he had been apprehended. Another fine pirate game, a board game this time is Blackbeard. There is a computer game by the same name, but Stephen hasn’t been able to find it. If you can find it and send it to him, there’s a reading, a class or research in it for you. The board game is pretty amazing. You really get a feeling for what it was like. There are the long days of boredom, scurvy when you couldn’t find enough fruit. The board game also has very good graphics. It came out in 1991; it’s very educational, teaching the players about all the famous individual pirates, and how they met their ends. It uses a random system, so you never know what’s going to happen. Each player can have as many as 4 pirates. There are many dangers in the game. You can think you’ve encountered a juicy slow moving merchant ship, and it turns out to be a warship. Your options are then limited. You can turn tail and run, or if you think your balls are hot, you can take on the warship in a fight. If you win, you get to roll the dice again, and if it’s doubles, you get the ship, if it’s a better ship. “The combat rules were created by me. The game as it was made didn’t have them,” said Stephen.

Grainne O’Malley, born 1530 died 1603 AKA the Sea Queen of Connaught. As a young girl, she cut off her long hair to shame her father the O’Malley into taking her on a trading expedition to Spain. She was called Grainne Mhaol, (the bald one) formally educated and fostered to another family as was done with noble children back then. At the age of 16, she was married to Donal O’Flaherty and bore him 3 children. He was killed in a pitched battle a few years later, and she married Risdeard Bourke in 1566. They had one son. They demanded a toll from the ships that plied the west coast of Ireland. The Lord Deputy of Ireland, an English lord, got complaints that Grainne and her men were behaving like pirates. She attack ships as far away from her northwestern base as south central Ireland. She also attacked fortresses. She captured Doona castle From the McMahons in retaliation for their killing of her lover Hugh de Lacy, a man 15 years her junior. She captured their boats, killed the men responsible for killing her lover, and still not satisfied with her revenge, captured Doona Castle and took it for herself. She was called the “nurse of every Irish rebellion.” Richard Bingham, an old enemy, was removed from office after Grainne met with Queen Elizabeth I. That must have been a sight to see those two queens meet. They died within a few months of each other in the same year.

We are offering a new service. For just $19.95, you can have spell-coaching. We will take you through the construction and performance of a spell. It’s very simple. If you want to perform a spell but you don’t think you know what you’re doing, hire us to coach you through it. The fee is payable to our PayPal accounts, to either abbotts_inn@yahoo.com or tezra.reitan@gmail.com .
We will coach you using strong ethics. Tegwedd has a couplet she will teach you which you can add to your spell that will ensure that it is ethical. Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick is over 40 years old, having been founded in 1970 in Berkeley, CA. It went cybernetic almost 9 years ago. Lizet has been helping us put the school on a more commercial footing, and with her inspiration, Tegwedd has started packaging the classes into manageable packets. Ms. Freeman did a 3rd website for us almost a month ago at http://abbottsinn.wordpress.com. From there, by clicking on two of the graphics, you can go to either of the other two sites: http://abbottsinninternational.com/ and http://abbottsinn.com/ . You can also get to our network http://abbottsinn.ning.com/ . With her help, we also salvaged some things from his old website, including the mission statement: The Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick aims to provide a gentle nurturing environment that promotes education in both the atmosphere and the specific tools of magick. Our research arm is called the Magickal Research Institute or MRI, not to be confused with the medical MRI, or Magnetic Resonance Image, which Tegwedd had on her right ankle about 9 months ago. Stephen and Lizet came up with the name almost 9 years ago. The three of us have become a very effective working team.

Nose-ticism for Pagans

Stephen has been obsessed with noses since 1967 when he first got acquainted with the FireSign Theatre. We should send them invites to this group. Later on, in the 80s, those nose references became cocaine references. Tegwedd didn’t care about noses until 1974 when she met Stephen. Clayton O’Clearach and Stephen started the Order of Nose-ticism in 1974 about the same time as the Great Wild Beast Furtherment Society was founded by them. Stephen started to follow the left hand path of Nose-ticism when he discovered cocaine. Tegwedd tried it but it didn’t do anything for her, so she quit. She really couldn’t see what all the fuss was about, really. Ten years later Stephen returned to pure nose-ticism when forced to watch “Apocalypse Now” on a small TV set, severely censored. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still a dark member of the left hand path, just minus the cocaine. Tegwedd was told decades ago that young women were paying thousands of dollars to get a nose just like hers.

We are planning on sending invites to the members of FireSign Theatre inviting them to all of our comedy groups, and making them honorary Grand Masters. We hope this will be sufficient bait, or should we say bate for them? Get it? Master-bate. All hail the divine and inscrutable Nose, for whom all other noses are held silent. We honor and give you homage. We encourage you to join Firesign Theatre for Pagans. You can get all of Firesign Theatre’s albums on Rhapsody. If you want to own the physical CDs, and have the money, you can order them from Amazon. Some of the album titles where you can find nose references and mentions are: “Back from the Future,” “Everything You Know is Wrong,” “Dear Friends,” “Marx/Lennon aka How Can You Be Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All?” and “The Giant Rat of Sumatra,” to name but a few. This is our homage to the 4 crazy men who changed the face of comedy on this side of the pond in the 1960s. They are still operating today. Check out their website. We both belong.

Clayton O’Clearach was Stephen’s partner-in-crime for several years. They fed each other’s weirdnesses, just as we do now. Stephen wants to make him a Grand Master for he co-founded the Nose-tic Philosophy and religion. We are in the process of re-writing the 6th and 7th books of Noses the Stephen and Clayton wrote back in ‘73. In it we ‘ll reveal the secret orders . For those who have a warrior’s bent there is the Order of the Broken Nose. For all you crime stoppers out there, there is the Order of the Sniffing Nose. The Order of Wisdom and Knowledge, there is the Nose That Knows, whose motto is the Nose Knows. For those who have a medical bent, there’s the Order of the Runny Nose. Doc would’ve belonged to that one. For those who have an athletic bent, there’s the Order of the Broken Nose. That is one order Tegwedd would never belong to, hating sports as she does. If you can think of any other orders, or those persons worthy of grand mastership, please post about them, along with why you think they are worthy. Tegwedd will start. She proposes the late great George Carlin because of all he said about putties, all of whom have noses. At this time, we’d like to turn your attention to our other comedy groups. We’ve already mentioned Firesign Theatre for Pagans.

One of our earliest, if not the first comedy group, was the Order of Humor Magick.. The premise of this group is very simple, that there is magick in humor. According to Tegwedd’s 3rd ex-hubby the Delphinius the best way to banish evil spirits is with a good guffaw. We encourage you to join this sister group to Nose-tic Philosophy for Pagans.

The next group is the Dead Parrot Fan Club. It pays homage to the comedy group the Monty Python. It replaces the Monty Python Fan Club, which we are trying to let die because it has no moderators. But some damned spammer keeps reactivating it. Yet Yahoo keeps killing groups we do want to keep without warning us first. That, and their draconian procedure for forming groups is why we are no longer forming groups on Yahoo. Four out of the six members members remain alive and active.

Paranoia for Pagans happened because of a mistake on Stephen’s part. He meant to say “Paranormal for Pagans,” but it came out “Paranoia for Pagans”. Tegwedd wrote it down that way. We decided it was a Freudian teddy, and developed the group. We then started to dredge up all kinds of paranoid fantasies and conspiracy theories. If you have paranoid fantasies and/or conspiracy theories, bring them here! Stephen wants to mention a book by Rob Brezsny that Tegwedd has in her library called “Pronoia” about the how the universe conspires to make us happy. She urges everyone to get a copy and read it.

Putties for Pagans is about putties, what Stephen calls cats. It’s a sister group to Magickal Familiars and their Powers. Magickal Familiars is not a comedy group, but Putties for Pagans is a comedy group because putties are funny, and they all have noses. There is, therefore, a tie-in with this group. Stephen mentions this because he is loony tunes. Some of the noses are pink like Pyewacket’s and Vampirella. We have a hexagram of putties. We use primarily Freyja and Bast in our magick.

Geriatrics for Pagans starts at age 40 and goes up from there until death. Sorry, but you can’t join if your are dead. Undead, we can handle, so vampires are welcome, but not the dead. We have 3 requirements. 1. You must be at least 40 like the kings and queens of the Minor Arcana. 2.. You must be alive and able to type on a computer. 3. You must have a sense of humor. We are in our 60s. We’ve discovered that there are many humorous things about growing older. If you can’t type on a computer, perhaps you can get a child or grandchild to do it for you. We want to hear from you geriatric Pagans. How are you doing in the Pagan community? Do you feel that you are a strong part of the Pagan community? Speaking for ourselves (mostly Stephen) we feel we have a serious problem in the young members of the community. As the late great Rodney Dangerfield would put it, “We don’t get no respect!”

Back to Nose-tic Philosophy. One of our motoes is, to use a variant of Firesign Theatre philosophy, “Follow the nose wherever it goes.” Also there’s “A nose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Professional noses work for the Wine, perfume, food, and environmental industries. They’re very important to these industries. In food, they’re important because most of what we think of as our sense of taste actually comes from our sense of smell, our noses. All our taste buds on our tongues can taste are sweet, sour, salty, and bitter. That’s why when you have a cold or sinus infection, any time you have nasal congestion, your food tastes flat. claims to have lost his sense of taste in the Cook County Jail in 1969, but in truth what happened was that he lost a lot of his sense of smell.

Tegwedd did some online research on professional noses, and hit the mother-lode. You can find the same article she did by Googling “professional noses”. She did get this quote from that article. “Some peoples noses can detect between thousands of perfumes, herbs, spices, and flowers. Other people are employed to sniff out fumes and odours [sic] around factories to see how much pollution is being caused.”

A famous astronomer from Denmark, Tycho Brahe after whom the Tycho Basin on the moon is named, lost the end of his nose in a sword duel, and it was replaced with gold. Pinocchio’s nose grew longer with each lie he told. Cleopatra was known for her great beauty, sophistication (she spoke 7 languages) and large nose. Cyrano de Bergerac, the main character in the book and movie by that name was famous for the size of his nose.

To summarize, Stephen’s been obsessed with noses since 1967 when he encountered the Firesign Theatre with all its nose references. We encourage all of you to join Firesign Theatre for Pagans. Our other comedy groups are: the Order of Humor Magick, the Dead Parrot Fan Club, Paranoia for Pagans, Putties for Pagans, and Geriatrics for Pagans. We are planning to re-write the 6th and 7th books of Nose-tic Philosophy. There are several Orders: the Order of the Bloody Nose, the Sniffing Nose, the Nose that Knows, the Order of the Runny Nose, and the Order of the Broken Nose. Professional noses are a vital part of the wine, perfume, food, cosmetic, and environmental industries. A good Nose can tell between thousands of perfumes, herbs, spices, and flowers. Go to http://abbottsinninternational.com/ , http://abbottsinn.com/ ,
join http://abbottsinn.ning.com/ and call 1-888-611-7982 for a reading, a class, or research.

In the Twilight of our Lives

This is the 4th in a series of 12 groups on vampires.Stephen would like to find the Twilight books in the public library so he can read them. Tegwedd suggested that he ask his daughter if he can borrow them from her. Which is your favorite movie of the so far trilogy? Because of his computer problems, He still has not seen “Eclipse.” Do you prefer the books or the movies? Tegwedd prefers the movies because she couldn’t get through even one chapter of “Twilight”, the first book. It was so jejune. Not everyone prefers the movies; they feel that the movies aren’t faithful enough to the books. Stephen doesn’t understand the concept of “Team Edward” and “Team Jacob.” What’s that about? Stephen wants to know. If he did understand it, he’d go with “Team Edward,” definitely. Which team do you adhere to?

What does anyone know about the author of the books? We’d like to know. We have a task for you. Do research and see if she’s at least Pagan-friendly. How many of you love the soundtracks of the 3 movies? If you’re like Stephen, the soundtrack can make or break a movie for him. This may be a good place to announce that in the next couple months, we’ll be creating a new group called Music Magick for Pagans. This will be the sister group to Abbott’s Inn Bardic Circle. The new group will appear somewhere around Stephen’s birthday when he turns 61 on July 6th.

He personally likes the 3 movies, how the characters are developed. The character development makes you love or hate the characters, depending upon what they’re doing. He puts the character development of these 3 films right under that of our beloved True Blood, which starts its 3rd season late next month (June, it’s May when this is being written and posted). Another vampire series which never made it onto the big screen, but which was an award winning TV series was “Forever Knight.” We plan to do a group about it after doing the Dark Shadows group. Like the music, character development is crucial to Stephen’s interest. He has to be able to care about the characters. He also enjoys it when a series or movie goes to other countries, and doesn’t stay in just one place. Stephen thinks we have a new trend towards a more youthful demographic. Case in point: this Twilight, and the Vampire Diaries, another series that Stephen enjoys. Can you think of any other series or movies that fits this demographic? “The Youngest Vampire” by Disney comes to mind. We both liked it, for all it was a G-rated film. Stephen enjoys this youthful trend, and finds it satisfying. Stephen wants to know if there is going to be a 4th film in the series to finish it up. Tegwedd believes that it is being shot now, or it just finished shooting, and is in post-production, which is when they add all the special effects. Megan brought her father kicking and screaming into this series. It really disturbed the other patrons.

To sum up, Twilight is a very popular series of films based upon the popular tetralogy of Twilight novels. This post has mainly been about the films because neither Stephen nor Tegwedd has read the books. Our next group will be Dark Shadows for Pagans, (which Stephen calls “Dark Shadnoses” because he’s crazy and and into noses like the Firesign Theatre, which is one of our groups). If you want to discover the inner teachings of this “nose-tic” philosophy, come join the Firesign Theatre for Pagans group. It was the Firesign Theatre which got Stephen into “noseticism”. This group is coming in right after Lycanthropy for Pagans and Monsters of the Big and Small Screens for Pagans. We’re going to lighten up things a bit. It’ll be connected to Firesign Theatre for Pagans and the Order of Humor Magick, of which it’ll be a sister group. Only those who have a sense of humor need apply.

Even the President has a sense of humor. What he said about Trump and the other birthers just cracked us up. Trump doesn’t have a sense of humor, however. If you contribute $32 to Obama’s campaign, you’ll get a tee shirt with the legend “Made in the USA” under a picture of Obama on the front, and on the back is Obama’s long form birth certificate, and a matching coffee mug. The Republicans are furious, and they hate it. Stephen knows why they’re furious; They didn’t think of it first.

In Isaac Bonewits’ present condition, his humor is rather deadpan. Go to http://abbottsinn.com/
or http://abbottsinninternational.com and call 1-888-611-7982 for a reading, class or research.

Can't Wait for True Blood

This group is for all of you Pagans who love the HBO show True Blood, which has Pagan elements embedded within it. The new series begins in June. In this season, they’ll be expanding the importance of the Wiccan coven. They’ll also explore Sookie as a faerie and the faeries. Tey’ll also have the usual plots concerning the rivalry between vampires and lycanthropes/shapeshifters, as well as a few other mythological beasties thrown in for extra flavor. As you can tell Stephen and I are rabid fans of this series. It’s so rare wen a sow of this quality and scope honors some Pagan motifs. We’re sure many of you also are also fascinated by the series, and hope it lasts a long time.

We feel it’s only fair to warn you of some sad news. Your writers have fallen victim to a terrible curse. It’s known by many names, but we call it the Abbott’s Inn Kiss of Death. If it’s a TV sow, it gets cancelled, it a product they stop selling it, if a movie, it only has a short run in the theatres. The curse has affected us as long as we’ve worked together. It was in operation long before Tegwedd moved in here. We can only hope that True Blood has a strong following and general popularity great enough that it can escape the Abbott’s Inn Kiss of Deat curse. Many other shows were not so lucky as to escape it. Case in point: Kindred the Embraced was really short lived, as was Moonlight. Both Stephen and Tegwedd loved those series. Doc gave Tegwedd a set of the Kindred the Embraced DVDS. We loved te series so much that our first vampire group celebrates that series.

Abbott’s Inn International School of Magick is proud to announce that it is planning on bringing out more vampire groups. The next group will be Vampires for Pagans, then Twilight for Pagans, then Dark Shadows for Pagans, and Forever Knight for Pagans. We don’t want the werewolves to be left out, so we’ll have Lycanthropes for Pagans, which will consist of all manner of were creatures and shape shifters such as were cats, werebears, were-boars, and were-tigers. The group after Lycanthropes for Pagans will be Monsters of the Silver Screen for Pagans. We’ll pay homage to the great actors who portrayed monsters such as Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Sr. and Jr., Claude Rains, and modern monsters such as Vincent Price and Jeff Goldblum as the Fly. All of these actors had interesting jobs before they got into film. For example: Boris Karloff, in real life a very cultured and mild mannered gentleman, drove truck and dug graves.

Now the time has come for feedback. What are your favorite vampires and other monster leegnds of the silver screen? Let us know where you want these posts to go; what you want these posts to cover. Do some posts of your own. Ask questions. What topics do you want us to cover within the boundaries of the subject matter of the group?

As always, go to http://abbottsinninternational.com/ , http://abbottsinn.com/ and http://abbottsinn.ning.com/ or call 1-888-611-7982. . .